quek

2009-09-24T22:21:00.000-07:00

Tonight going to burnei finally . Don't know how tough the traiiningg will be over there but somehow i wish i'm able to go thought it . There too much thing happening to me . Oh people i think i and rena are together le . so hope everything will be good for as wish us luck k . hope she will change to be a better gf .

2009-08-31T15:24:00.000-07:00

Some past memory i have forgotten long ago . Many thing have change . Going oversea training next month le . Don't wish to update le . But i hope that person won't contact me anymore le .

2009-07-06T04:26:00.000-07:00

People i got a new bike le number plate is FR 8147 S .
Is a white and gold SP .
Many thing happen did'nt have time to update blog le . Too much thing to do but not enough time to do . I also bought a new i touch and a and some new stuff can'nt review it yet .
It just the begining of the month and i spend amost one thousand le .
I also want thank someone who treat me with care . And there for me when i need help .
Will review her when the time is right .
And will be updating her photo when the time come .
Got no time to update meeting her for dinner and back to camp .
This saturday there will be firework for ndp . I'm attach to ndp till august 8 and it my one week off can;t wait . will be going out of singapore to phukut with my campmate and her .
Going to celebrate my buddy birthday next week when book out . don't know what to give for his birthday .
Anyway thing and life really have change alot . I start to enjoy every single moment i have le .
Sometime i really still miss those old memory but is gone . Now i hope i thing and life will be better of wothout her that all .
This will be last time i update my blog i guess .

If you saw this i hope you are doing great and happy . If there one more chance i rather be with you then other people . so come back to my life will you . if you still love me i still here waiting for you . Do you know i miss you so much !

2009-06-02T19:40:00.000-07:00

Today my off day . Cause of yesterday 18k run got off today . Later on going out with my seletion mate to relax . They are worry for me . Thanks for their concern . Sundaywill be going malaysia to visit a friend . Till tuesday with afew of my friend ,there a increase of pay. This month . And we been promoted . The operation day each day is getting nearer . Abit werid feeling . Worry about it. But aleast I know my friend is here for me

2009-05-31T22:53:00.000-07:00

Life is damn great till i seen my spealist about my back yesterday .the doctor say I will need to go for operation to ensure my back Don't know what to do .now I feaking stress and. Moody . God please tell me what to do I need someone to advice me . Life is damn stress now. Esp withhout her .

2009-05-25T23:01:00.000-07:00

Now using my phone to update this blog abit troublesome . Not use to it totally . Got afew new cloth and some new stuff . Later going back camp for tomorroew ndp training . Anyway preparing to go out soon . Will try update again later on if got time

2009-05-02T22:13:00.000-07:00

Friday
Meet up with sly , darren and jun hao and one more special person .
When to have steamboat together . After that when to my place to have MJ session .
Play till 5 am plus . After that send them home only left sly at my place as he been trouble with something . So we have chat session and drink a bottle of chivas limited edition 2002 .

Saturday
When out in the afternoon to book to settle some payment . Open a new bank accountAt night when to butter factory . Suppose to go st james but when to butter factory instead cause of one friend . haven upload the photo becuase someone is still sleeping !Hope to upload the photo by today if not have to wait till next week le .

Today
Latr going hosptial with my mother to see her check up . Next saturday going to chen chen wedding with my old friend . Don't know what to get for them .

Anyway will continuce to update when i'm free

2009-04-20T01:49:00.000-07:00

came back from field camp not long ago on friday , saturday did'nt get to book out till sunday afternoon . Got extra guard duty , so most of the saturday won't get to book out . Celebrate my birthday on field camp near cck . Spend 5 day 4 night , damn tried .

There so prblem with my family . I just hope god will help them .
Hope everything will go back smoothly for them and for me

I took a long way when actually i want your heart . Our memories then awaken . I want try and re-do those thing i left undone . Behind that force smile , i hide my extended shadow . Those empty night , those dawn i felt would'nt come .

2009-04-03T22:34:00.000-07:00

Posted to 5 sir as rifleman . No longer in 46 Sar still can't get use to the place but everyone very friendly towards me . This my 2rd week in this camp . And i got sallow leg . excuse boot and 5 day light duty . Yesterday when down to Nuh check up got 5 month light duty . From 040409 to 310809 . Going MRI check up soon . Hopefully this coming monday they will approve my excuse and i can go home and rest .

10 more day to my birthday and i will be going out field next week . Today will be celebrating with my buddy and friend at chinatown . Already book table for celebration but most important is my parent they willing to help me pay half for my car today will be going down to get it . Still think wish car i want to get . Most properly will be getting audi t4 or getting s3 . Have to go down and check it . I guess this year this present is the best among all , but still wondering to get what car till now . Alot of think need to worry about the maintain all this . But most important is next month on the 16 i going to have my tp . Got to pass it !

Recently having been going drinking every book out . Think of it like wasting money . Going to save money soon for my oct trip . Really i can't live my life with just a few hundred every month with the army pay . I will die want . It totally too less for me .

To her :
I no need to wait for you 3 month just wait for you patch with me . Right now i still enjoying my life with or without you . Maybe in the early part when you patch with me everything won't turn this way but in the end . The distance betwwen us have drifted apart . SOmetime i will still think about you . EVen when i need you the most you are'nt there for me is my friend that there for me . But everything come to a sence all this time you been going out with guy and so on . Why can't i . Everytime worry you won't like it . But after everytime my friend brainwash me . I now realise that it time to change abit of my lifestyle . I should'nt even think about you or scare the thing you don't like . We have broke up 8month and within this 8 month you got 2ex stead in between . At that point of time i should realise everything is gne . out 1 year and everything . I also expect this year you won't give me any birthday present just like last year . All this time i get those stuff for you , i just treat it as i learnt my lesson . You got money to do your shopping all this and you still ask me to get you your thing for you . Even now you still want lie to me . I'm so tried of you .

Will Stop here need to prepare to go get my new car =)

2009-03-14T23:17:00.000-07:00

13th is my pop day . Finally after 4 month of training , got 1 week off to enjoy . Bmt is over . Hope i get post to the unit . 14th celebrate with the rest at sentosa . After that when to lebar at night , is a very relaxing place but the bottle abit to exp . Anyway i haven ask gm to send me the photo to update .

2009-03-07T16:55:00.000-08:00

Just reach home not long ago , when down clake quay help alex celebrate before he go in amry . Did'nt spend much cause henry and me share a bottle for him . 6 year of friend everyone have grow up to be more sensible then before . I wonder how life is going to be after army . I really can't live my life without this friend , whenever i down they are there for me . I want to stop drinking everytime whenever i down i'll start to drink . It already became a habit . I'm going to stop blogging cause evrything in here is all sad thing . I want to change ! Every single moment i spend in my blog is when i miss her so much can't meet her and tell her how i feel . But all this will the past . I don't know how to stop loving her . It since my heart only have her can't able to fill another girl in my heart anymore . It still feels like our first night together. Feels like the first kiss. No one can better this. I'm still hold on and you're still the one. The first time our eyes met it's the same. This pain I'm going through. Still feel our best time together . Can't get close enough I'm still holding on. You're still number one in my heart. What is matter my love can't keep her . My heart look for her but she not with me. My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her. Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

It going to be my pop this friday , will be celebrate with my campmate later after it . I guess she won't be coming to my pop , well it does'nt matter , till now i'm still able to live my life without her . Trying to save money for Oct trip to ? Still planning don't know which country to go ? There manythind in life i need to catch up le . This year i won't be celebrating my birthday at all . Cause i find it meaningless . Anyway i going to workhard for my future wheater with you or without you .

There alot of thing i want to tell you , but i don't have the gut to tell you . There so many question i want to ask you but you did'nt give me a chance .

2009-03-05T21:21:00.000-08:00

Finally back from field camp from tekon . What a week at there , everyday keep on raining end up wet . Endure it thought with my buddy and my campmate really have so fun over there . But there still so people how can't take it . But everyone was the to support each other . Next friday 13th march friday is my pop . After so of us will be post out to different unit but there still some that staying in this camp . But this 4 month i really enjoy this time with my friend . Going thought thick and thin together . Even when i'm sad and moody they are there to cheer me up . They give me so many memory that i can't forget . But too bad can't take down photo to keep those memory .

Later will be going to raffle place to have dinner , meeting up some of my campmate and friend . Going to shokudo to have dinner . Then after that it time to enjoy life . Will update tomorrow .

I got 6 cute puppy thank to moon moon .

where were you when everything was falling apart all my days were spent by the telephone it never rang and all I needed was a call it never came to the corner of first . no way to know how long she will be next to me.

2009-02-21T23:34:00.000-08:00

I now know and i want to say .
My sincerest and loudest " i love you "
Yet the sky unexpectedly brought the chicken out of me .
I want to see you just out of the blue
Emotion driving like a parachute
No clue where i'll be blown toward .
As the heart shows , look at the line graph .
The heart throbbing rate going sky high .
A bit more and we reach the crimson road .

Heading back to camp le . 2 week won't be able to book out .
Rena is about to patch with me i guess . So happy about it but also sad .
If she patch with me i promise i will do my best to let her happy =)

got to go le if not late le .

will post again soon . once i book out .

2009-02-14T21:09:00.000-08:00

Happy valentine day to everyone .
yesterday spend my afternoon with someone i love .
Aleast i get to spend a few hour with her and i'm happy about it le .

It's been raining since you left me Now I'm drowning in the flood . You see I've always been a fighter But without you I give up . Now your pictures that you left behind . Are just memories of a different life Some that made us laugh, some that made us cry . One that made you have to say goodbye . When he holds you close, when he pulls you near , When he says the words you've been needing to hear , I'll wish I was him that those words were mine . To say to you till the end of time

But baby if you give me just one more try We can pack up our old dreams And our old lives We'll find a place where the sun still shines

2009-02-08T03:11:00.000-08:00

I really miss my ex so much . those time i spend with her . those unforgeting memory just can't be put aside . Maybe this is fate , letting me suffer so much wishing her to come back to my , i'm just day dreaming . All this time after we broke up , i still mis and love you . But now i realise we have been drift too far apart . Is not like the past now you have pently of guy asking you out and so on . But me i am still the same just waiting for your answer . Maybe i start to feel tried of waiting . I trying to let you go but what happen in end is my heart can't let you go . I even dream until will be with you again , but is just a false hope . Everything just turn into blank . I feel so fan . I can't explain how i feel . Anyway my heart start to feel numb for you . If you really want patch with you would already and not wait till now . I feel so emo . I will never know what do you want .

On VALENTINE'S DAY I intend to bring you to Moonstone is an outdoor dining area that offers a beautiful view of the cable cars and Sentosa. But look like i can't celebrate with my love one this year .

2009-01-31T23:05:00.000-08:00

Yesterday met up with rena for awhile to have dinner and celebrate her birthday in advance . And got her a present . When to her house for awhile to visit her parent , after that accompany her to her godma house . And that how i spend my day with her . After that when to my godma house was abit late reach there about 11plus , lucky i'm not the last want who reach . After there when to boat quay and drink the balance we had . After that the night haven end when to another pub and they open another want .

FIrst time alex drunkk till like that .

2009-01-27T02:36:00.000-08:00

Happy Chinese New Year to all . GOing to book in soon le . ONly got 2 day to enjoy . Haven visit the rest of the relative . Just visit my mom side this year only . Friday night should be able to book out , still have to go my aunt house . Today when to visit my god father , i feel damn bad , he look weaker then before , and he staying alone . He ask me when am i going to bring him out to eat , at this point of time i feel like i not a good god son . I only buy one hamper for him . And his own family did'nt visit him . Anyway i'm going to bring him out to eat one of this day . May god bless him to recover soon . He going for a operation on 10 of march . Don't know wheater i can take off and bring him there . And this new year without her i feel much more boring , family memeber asking me why never ask her come but i don't know how to open my mouth . Anyway hope nexy year i'll be able to bring her to my realtive house . as my gf again . Next saturday don't know wheater she still going to meet me or not .
anw It about time i going to book in . And one last time i really miss you alot Rena .

2009-01-19T13:11:00.000-08:00

Just finish doing all the check up at Nuh . Spend the whole morning just to see physiotherapy . Now i damn tried eye closing soon . Have to report back to camp at 2pm . Even there a mc it also no use i can't even stay at home and rest . I back having fever again . Damn sick . must be the mec that make me sleepy . Tomorrow there another check up at Nuh again . I now need to hurry back to camp le .

Till there's someone to cry about , someone to fight it out , Someone to say, You're the reason, they breath .Till you can't live without . All this i know i can't life without her in my life .

2009-01-19T08:30:00.000-08:00

Just book out , preparing to go down Nuh to go check up . At 130 in the afternoon have to book in again . Sad hope i can get attand C for today . Now having flu and fever . Luck today can book out , i did'nt bring alot of thing back to camp . Lucky now can come back and pack again . Hope this friday i can book out to attend my friend wedding dinner . If this staurday get RT agian , i'll be going crazy .

I realise i did'nt forget about you , in fact you are the one that deeply stuck in my heart and mind . And i really still love you so much . What should i do now ? Feel like giving up but i can't make it . It been 5 month seen we broke up , but till today i still missing you so much .

2009-01-18T19:13:00.000-08:00

I wait in vain , but nothing has changed , and the words that seem so hard , when you've gone away just stay a little while and hear me say , that I want you here tonight , and I need you by my side , for just one more moment , for just one more moment with you , don't turn away to say goodbye , with each and every word that passes by , like a distant memory , Cause I need you in my blood and soul , I pray to be only yours . I know now you're my only hope . I'm awake inthe infinite cold , When it feels like my dreams are so far , I give you my destiny . I'm giving you all of me .

It so hard to say good bye . memory fading away like a meldoy . All full of romance for someone that you met , Well I held on to let you go , and if you lost your love for me . There was no way to compromise . it’s so typical, love leads to isolation . Some day I might find myself looking in your eyes . But for now, we’ll go on living separate lives . If I could hold your hand . Look into your eyes . Would you try to understand ? The things I'm gonna say . If I could show you girl . How much I feel for you . Would you turn around ?

2009-01-18T01:51:00.000-08:00

Damn sain ! Rt on friday cannot book out again , till yesterday afternoon . Yesterday night when down to bq thank to my campmate for treating me 2 bottle , cause together with him got Rt . yesterday afternoon when down to town to do some shopping with my sister . For a very long time did'nt met until her le . After that when to have sakae sushi and when watch movie . It been quite sometime seen i when last to town . But too bad i was'nt with the person i really wish to be with .

Tomorrow got to go down to Nuh again for check up . Hope everything will be smooth :) there many thing happening around this new year , not everything in smooth hand . But hope everything will be smooth again soon . I really got fuck up by my pc in camp . stress can't take it everyday aim me , for no fucking reason .

Been think thought about the present i want get for rena this year , yesterday when to do some shopping and when to look for her present . This what my bubby told me " If you really think there a chance between you two then it worth buying , If it something not worth buying why still waste those money on getting such a exp present , when you together again also not late to get for her again . " and " can you expect her to be a good gf when you're in camp if you two really patch again , look at her now how many message you message her and she does'nt even bother cause in her heart she does'nt even have you in it anymore . And if she have you in heart already won't meet so many guy " this thing been repeating in my mind . I really start to belive in my friend word . Money can't buy back a person heart and love .

It about time for me to book in already . Hais , what should i do ? Do she even love me or not , OR it time to let go after this 5 month waiting for her meaningless .

2009-01-12T23:46:00.000-08:00

Today want to go down to Nuh again to see doctor but sergent say no matter what to day have to book in if be will be charge as A-wall . Tomorrow then let me go see doctor , i guess is the Mo inside the camp which suck . There no proper treatment at all . Early in the morning sergent call just to make sure i at home and they keep on remind me today at 830pm have to reach company line . And not long ago i just reci another call from my pc tonight 830 must be in camp , if not this week can't book out . I really going to be insane soon . Even sick i have to book in no matter what . Can't they let me rest at home . I just vomited again and cough till my thoat like there a sharp odject stuck in it . Anyway it time for me to book in . Hopefully i can book out this friday night .

Day by day past by the distance between us have drift bigger apart . But i'm not sure wheater i'm still in your heart , do you still have feeling for me , or am i waiting for something that immpossible . Right now i'm still giving a false hope that you'll patch with me . I just bluffing myself that i can wait for your return , i can't stand the acyion you done . The thing you did make me feel sick of you . I don't know how far can i go without you . I'll just take one count at each step .

2009-01-12T05:17:00.000-08:00

Yesterday spend half of my day at hosiptal just to see doctor . The review say i'm having cough and hemoplyale . As chest infection . Have X-ray and blood test . And on the next monday there another review , will have to go for another X-ray and blood test again . Last night my sergent call me and i was'nt at home , was suppose to be at home and rest . But i'm outside with my friend having my dinner till quite late . Have our dinner at SHOKUDO a japanese food bazaar . Have bbq chicken and fish .

Today early in the morning book in just to endose my mc for 3 day from 11 jan till 13 jan that meant tomorrow night will have to book in , Today 8am was suppose to reach camp but i was late for one hour can't wake up the mec i taken make me so sleepy . My Oc speak to me about my review ask me what happen and why was i late so i explain but in the there will be punishment cause in amry they say time is very important so maybe friday i won't be able to book out . Today i miss out the first aid lesson on saturday will have to go on re-course . I really haven get use to the amry life , early in the morning wake up and do 5 bx . And there was'nt enough sleep .

Omg chinese new year is reaching soon and i've not done my shopping yet sigh this make me remember about last year , My ex Rena done all my shopping for me and when i have such a good gf that do everything for me and yet i still never treasure her . I really reget it . After chinese new year my room going on renovantion , i going to get a new lcd tv 32" and a ps3 . and i changing the colour to red . And getting new wall drode . So much thing to be done when there only One and a half day , when ever i book out . Soon her birthday is coming was thinking to bring go oversea in april , but she can't so think better get something else for her instead . Most porperly will get her a bag . But there still a buget for me .

I really miss you , why do you 've to go , now i'm all alone , without you arounding i can't stand anymore , baby come back to me , what will take to make you come back , why can't we just restart again , get it back to where it was , if you give me a chance i'll love you right . I really need you in my life .

2009-01-04T21:27:00.000-08:00

It been 3 week i never update my blog . Been in the amry for 3 week , and tis week is the ippt . Hope everything will be good . And i've since her for a month , i really miss her so much . Recently on each book out there will be alot place to go . This week there pently of thing need to be done , but i don't have the time go do some shopping . This money i'm going to save One thousand , hopefully i'm able to save until it so i can get someone a present next month . From the first book in chrismas till year been going down to drink , even yesterday night was suppose to book in , but i never . On the 1st jan till 5th of jan been going down to drink , i'm damn moody . Lucky thank to my friend henry all this time go down with me and been by myside , it a 6 year friend . Thank alot . In my mind i wonder do she even miss me for a single second , or aleast got think about the time we been together in the past , those memory , i just hope Rena you'll give me one more chance , hope there will be a new begining for us . Anyway i'm going out for lunch , will update when the next book out or when i'm free .

This time, I wonder what it feels like
To find the one in this life , the one we all dream of
But dreams just aren’t enough , So I’ll be waiting for the real thing,
I’ll know it by the feeling , So I’ll be holding my own breath,

Someone to love with my life in their hands Tonight, out on the street, out in the moonlight
I'll change to be a better man then before i 'll prove to you, you the only girl that I love .
I hope you'll patch with me again .

2008-12-11T15:46:00.000-08:00

2 more hour . I haven been able to sleep well . 2 week can't come out i think i will be missing alot of people . ESpecially her ba , but to her i nothing at all and i don't even think she will even miss or think of me for even a second . Hopeless , today will be going camp alone with my parent i wonder who will send me in as well . And after 1 week the fanily visit who will come visit me her ? hardly to come truly . i think by then she already she have a new boyfriend . Sigh really hope she will patch back with if there another chance .

Oh baby i will love you till the last breath i have & i will try my best to change . For a better life .

2008-12-11T06:45:00.000-08:00

Less then 12 hour i'm going to be a amry boy le . This few day i really need to thank those friend out there celebrating for me . You guy give me a good memory before i enlist . One of the most memory is on wednesday night , is when i when to find someone and some thing bad happen . But she wake me up those past memory came back , how i treat her in the past , i'm a failure boyfriend . How i wish we could go back to the past , let me amend it back you I know there a lot of guy trying to win your heart , i know i can't compare to them . But i really love you rena , and i can't stop loving you because you 've been deeply crave in my heart . For the whole day i really can't stop thinking about someone till now , but she out there with other guy , sigh i damn sad i can't talk to her before going . Can't listen to her sweet voice . Even in camp i also can't listen to her or message because i haven get a non camera phone yet . But i'll try to bring my phone in . Today was suppose to visit my god father . who was at home it been like 2 year i haven saw him le , i promise him when i book out i must go visit him i must bring him go eat , it a promise I make and without fail i must keep this promise . After he come out of hosiptal he have been in wheel chair and i as his god son haven done anything good for him . So when i book out i must bring him out . Lastly i want wish all my friend god luck and take care .

没有了你全都不对
我都学不会把爱敷衍
笑不能笑哭不敢哭
人不像人鬼不像鬼
能不能不爱了因为爱太痛了
我痛得快死了却无法把你忘了
我痛得快死了却无法把爱割舍
我不能够不能够不爱了

Oh baby if you ever patch back with me i will use all my heart and love , to make you happy . And i'll not treat you like the past , i'll give you better memory then before . I'll use all my time on you . lastly i really love you , after all this time i just want you back to my life , Baby please come back into my life again .

2008-12-07T21:55:00.000-08:00

You're my inspiration , You're the one who inpires me , Without you Rena ,
I could'nt find my inspiration to continue . I just want you to return back into my life , just want you to give me any other chance . Rena i love you like the way i use to , without you my life is meaningless , i can't carry on without , please come back to my life .
i'm sorry for the past , how i treat you . I realise you're the truly one i love .

Anyway going down to bq .

2008-11-30T19:20:00.000-08:00

I guess it's time to make some changes in my life . I'm going stop gambling and wasting money on thing that not worth . I don't why but thank to the someone that keep on repeating at my ear and ask me to stop gambling and drink , instead keep on asking me to save money . And lately been accompany me for this whole week thank you . Been drinking from wednesday till yesterday , my stomach can't take it , but i love the L 13 at bellini . The bottle cost $3000 plus and my stupid friend ken open it . An other rich son but thank , i did'nt pay for it but i drank amost half of it , it very smoothing when you drink it . Oh i'm going open it at christmas =) .
Now going preparing to go out , today going go get myself a gucci wallet =) after that going to Red dot tonight , who want go out with me today ?

2008-11-25T20:11:00.000-08:00

TOnight will be celebrating for my friend before he go in amry , i'm going to open one bottle for him .

stress the next will be me , i'm going amry in 16 day . stress ! I haven enjoy my freedom , not enough , Oh well i 'm saving up money fgor my brand new car after amry . For the meant time got to work hard to achieve my license . Later on tonight will update the rest of the thing . stay tune !

I've been awake for a while now . Wherever it goes .I always know . That you make me smile . Please stay for a while now . Just take your time . Wherever you go . I always know you make me smile . Even just for a while .

2008-11-19T07:03:00.000-08:00

Now you're gone
I realized my love for you was strong
And I miss you here now you're gone
I keep waiting here by the phone with your pictures hanging on the wall
Is this the way it's meant to be?
Only dreaming that you're missing me
I'm waiting here at home
I'll be crazy now you're gone
There's an empty place in my heart
Without my rena it will break apart
It won't heal , it never fades away
I'll be thinking about you everyday

2008-11-18T07:52:00.000-08:00

I'm so tired of staring at the wall
But I know I got to put you down
And I keep trying to make sense of it all
But I can't keep going around and around
And you know me well; you know me better than this
I keep finding a little piece of me
Give me a reason to fall in love
Give me a reason to make me smile
I wanna dream away with you tonight
We can go anywhere you would likeI wanna feel how I wanna feel forever
Every little thing I do, I do for you
With every little thing, I think a thought of you
And I try so hard not to noticeI try so hard not to care
I try so hard not to know that you're not here
But I'm counting down the hours
And I'm counting up the days
I try so hard not to show this side of me
One dayIs all it takes for things to turn around now
All I know Is I got you in my heart
And when that morning comes I'll make coffee and you'll read the paper
We'll talk about our plans and I'll keep saying how lucky i'm
if only we are still together .

2008-11-10T07:12:00.000-08:00

Foolishly been thinking for a lone time ,

Yet i can't find the reason why you left .

From the moment you left , silence replace you ,

Are you too cruel or am i too serious .

If love can be easily forgotten ,

Why would i still love you so much

As bizzard wind flow though my body .

It numb my heart and soul

You could only see the surface

But you could'nt see how much tears i shed for you .

The taste of the tears is like sea water

You will be remember in my heart forever .

This will be the last drop of tear that i'll shed for you .

Maybe someday I'll be smiling and thinking of you .

The diary that i've wrote will be left as a memory .

Just hope my soul will be kept in your heart and will not be replace .

The tear i shed prove that i once love you .

2008-11-09T05:52:00.000-08:00

Today when to town with henry .

when down to bought a brand new adidas watch .

At 275 ! There two colour one black and gold ,

of course i go for the black one ,

And i saw a couple watch damn nice at 3oo plus ,

If i had a girlfriend now , i would buy that for us .

But unfortunately i does'nt have an girlfriend now .

So i can'tbuy it because it meaningless .

Wow the robot toy i want cost 500 plus nearly 600 .

can wed cam can talk all this style! it can let

me spy my dog at home got naughty or not at home .

But if i get it then won't be able to help someone pay for her laptop .

Still think should i buy for myself first then what about her ?

All this time i've been lying to myself that you would return to my life ,but i realise you ain't here for me no more . I'm your past to you , but to me you still with me , but now i really understand what relationship we are , i no longer is in your heart , but why i can't forget you , i'm breaking down le .

2008-11-08T18:04:00.000-08:00

One day i hope you'll know i'll always be here for you no matter what .
I'll hope you return and be with me again , return to the days that we been together in the past .
But it won't be like the past , where i lie to you . This time i won't lie to you anymore and won't be so blur . Always making you angry . And always keep on forget those thing you ask me to do . Just hope one day you'll give me one more chance . This time i'll use all my time for you giving in to you . And spent every monent creating a sweet memory with you . Just hope you really know i love you like no one else will love you deeper then me .

2008-11-02T00:13:00.000-07:00

Yesterday first thing i do when i wake up when down to imm to change a new phone , i change my phone to i900 at 800 plus .In the begining not planning to change to to this phone , Till i saw it fully black and there a fully white , damn nice . Btw anyone want buy iphone 3g ? i'm selling it at 800plus . It brand new . Anyway after that when down to work , and my little brother come down finding me and keep me accompany till night . So i treat him pizza for his dinner , it his favorite . Is he cute or what .

Will be bring him out to play this coming tuesday .

After work when home and do the basic needs , before going out again , at first when down to chervon , to celebrate zi cong birthday with victor , and open one martell at first . After finishing head down to boat quay MP to look for the rest . At there we open another other one more bottle . After around 3 plus the whole group when down st james to look for Ivon . At there i open 1 martell and henessy . For the rest , and i saw my old schoolmate anne , belle , chi li and the rest . Oh it was belle birthday as well so the rest of us share and open a martell for her . At the end of the day after 5 when st james close we cab down to boat quay , rainning bar and open one last bottle . For the last bottle , i did'nt drink much. My body is damn full of ALC . And i'm still abit blur blur . Anyway it seem to be month or year, i last saw sly victor and the rest . Going out to meet ken for shopping .

don't mistake she just my friend .

Btw did i mention i going amry on 12 dec . to 46 sar . still think should i ask her to come down to send me with my parent . Anyway come back home will update more about it .

2008-10-27T02:53:00.001-07:00

Today later on going out with my parent for dinner at town , then at night will be going out with ming hua , celebrate his birthday . so fast the Public holiaday have end . Today can't drink much if not tomorrow cannot wake up for work then no money le , i sped too much money this month le . Need to save money during the net month . Anyway i'm going to change line tomorrow le =) maybe will be changing number . will update when i get home.

You show me how cold you can be , how heartless you're , i'll not forget how you treat me.The message i send you don't even bother to reply me at all .

2008-10-26T23:30:00.000-07:00

25 oct

After work when down to NUH to visit prata , saw himlying at his bed , with his hand and back injury , being cut by some other people , he show me his cut and wow it was damn big , i think it will take a few to recover . Oh victor also when to visit him , but he when there early then me and go off early then me , after visiting prata around going to 11 , head back home and bath and have 1 round of dota with victor they all then cab down to bq to look for my frenz yu xiang . oh i don't remember what the name of the pub but He open 2 bottle of martell for us .

26 oct

Work for half day 11 to 3pm , after that when home and bath , around 6 plus waited for victor and sly to come fetch me and they drive down to bukit timah to have our dinner till 9 plus , was slacking at there think to go where and chatting about our heart problem it seem i'm not the only one who sad . After that head down to bq again , raining bar , but we when missing in highway exit at the wrong road to amk , then end up going back bukit timah again , 45 min of ride , one big round , wasted 1 hour plus to reach bq around 11 plusthen we raech there , and the rest reach there early then us , around 2 plus we when to other place and drink and play , after that i don't know how i end up at my room when i wake up in the morning .

27 oct

Still go out at play and drink again but is my turn to open want and i open a martell $280 ++ , lol abit exp right , at party world , during the night , was suppose to send rena her gift i got for her but , she was out with other guy , watch movie , and it was'nt me =( , whenever i drink i was trying not to think of you but in the end whenever i wake up i'll think of you again and my heart aches , and no matter how i drink i'll still end up thinking about you , why , why i have to think of you when i know it hopeless , you just treat me as a nobody , i'm like an idiot waiting for you , when can i stop thinking about you aleast if you tell me i still stand a chance i won't be that sad , but i know it hopeless and impossible . And i'll not forget the words you say to me " who amito care about your life and what you do " .

I'm the one who love you most , but you left without a word , but when i need you the most , you left without a sign , what your mind thinking ? after what i've done for you ,but you was not trouch at all , i haven change at all , just waiting for your return , when i think of the past , i really wish to hug you again , your beatiful face make me want to see you again ,your sweet smile that stuck in my mind , can't let me stop thinking about you . When i'm alone and sad , you're out there enjoying , so know i set my mind up to give up in you to stop myself from getting more pain then before ,although i'm ain't willing but , because i know it hopeless , yo won't be with me anymore , and this is how our 11month of relationship end .

2008-10-24T03:04:00.000-07:00

Wee getting a new laptop at this end of month , when i take pay i going buy the Dell lastest laptop & getting a new phone too , i guess this month i spend over budget le , lucky got extra pay if not will die , this month really spend alot , on cloth and travel garget and more , but been enjoying life , okay next month got to save money , for my next trip =)

Damn bored now still at my working place , going to bored to dealth soon le .

Sigh the one i love seem to trouble but i don't know how to help her , what to do now , somehow i wish to help her . Sigh but she don't seem to love me anymore , what to do when my heart is still crazy about her ?

2008-10-21T23:45:00.000-07:00

Anyone want go drink tonight ? At RedDot ? Argh ! Or got some place to go instead staying at home thinking of you , i want stop it , when i know you don't even care about our past , those day we been together , it seem nothing to you at all , ya after all this time you know so much people , you must have forget our past . After all it nothing to you , message you don't even bother to reply me , am i stupid or what , wait for you return to my life it only day dreaming only . It won't come true at all .

And day by day my heart start to slowly turn numb . All i just ask it a simple wish but my wish will never come true , And i can't move on because i'm still in love with you .

2008-10-20T09:23:00.000-07:00

Changing phone soon =) at 26 oct & i 'm able to upgrade my phone and my line , looking forward to it , think will be getting HTC touch phone or iphone , which want is better , headache or samsung Omina , but if i get samsung will be the same as my mother , so which phone should i get ?
This is especially for Rena* , i hope for you to return back into my life if possible .

Could you look me in the eye . And tell me that you’re happy now . Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased , You been driving me crazy , I don't wanne waste another moment , I've been waiting for a chance to be with you again , Wonder if you realize I've been waiting till I see it in your eyes , Tell me just what you want me to be , One kiss and boom you're the only one for me So please tell me why don't you come around no more Cause right now I'm crying just for you to return to my life , cause i really need you badly , Cause right now I'm dying outside the door of your loving store , So please tell me why don't you come around no more ,
I didn't know that it was so cold . And i needed someone to show me the way , So lonely inside . All i wanted was somebody who cares If you need me you know I'll be there . 16 oct 2007 .

Baby you know i'm right here wait for you to return to my life

Although our relationship that did'nt last long but the memories will last forever.

And wondering will you return back into my life .
Cause i need you badly more then anyone else .

2008-10-16T11:19:00.000-07:00

The 2rd day and I want to get back singapore soon , trying to get earlyest flight back to singapore because i got myself injury , my right hand is sallow , i got burn by some idiot , who never look out . now my hand is all red and in pain , how i wish to see doctor but in here i don't even know their language , oh well , know i just hope to get back home asap !

oh well today my mum is very angry as well , my brother lost his phone , is a brand new , w980 and it only the 2rd day . By the way his birthday is coming soon next month . And what should i get for him ?

Maybe is me everything i say is'nt deciving , I was crying along the night , just because i'm thinking of you , and i really hope we can be together once more , but if we really be together once more i hope we will work it out . And i promise i won't lie to no more .

I miss you so much , how i wish you're here by myside now !
I'll treasure you with evrything i've
If you would give anyother chance to be with you .
I'll love you with everything i 've
=(

2008-10-14T21:42:00.000-07:00

I'm leaving in 4 hour and i really hope she msg me but , i did'nt even reci until her msg or call , i know it hopeless and so i try msging her but she instead show me attuide =( this is'nt what i really want to know before i go , i just wish to know does we still have a chance or not , just such simple answer i can't even hear until it , my heart start wonder , i got picture in my head , do you understand , without you i 'm a broken heart man , i know it make no sense , how can i move on when i in love with you , day month year , cause if one day you wake up , you'll know where to look for me , i 'm not moving cause i want be here for you , no matter , you fall i'll catch you , i'm always here for you .

maybe one day you'll come back =)

2008-10-14T01:08:00.000-07:00

Today is just another day , dragging myself out of bed , just to go work .
Such long hours of working make me tried & today is'nt really a good day for me .
Aleast i've my dinner with my friend at the end of the day .
After dinner head back home just to pack my bag , tomorrow will be flying off le ,
Will be going over a week plus or more , have to depend how thing work out over there .
It just any other 12 hour before i left singapore , wishing everything will go well over there .

Before i go i was hoping to see until her or aleast hear until her voice , but unforturly she did'nt want pick up my call and have a misunderstanding about my blog . Well aleast when i come back i'll try get her something special .

2008-10-13T09:09:00.000-07:00

This coming wednesday on 15 oct 2008 i'll be flying off , i won't be in singapore for few weeks , i'm going to work , the flight is at 4 pm , so i won't be free on that day , i'm still having a headarche what to bring , my note book , my psp and what else . Will be going with my mother .

Recently in life , have new begining , i'm going to change , no longer the past , about gangster all this it got nothing to do with me anymore , i'm 18 already , start to think about my furture and in next relationship , i'll treasure it with my life , i'm going be a good boyfriend , wheather my past i 'm a bad boyfriend not , please open your eye and see i will be one good boyfriend ,
To freind that beening worry for me , thanks alot , esp victor and slyvster .

Going to back to the corner , where i first saw you , find that i'm missing you , and you'll see i'm waiting for you , thinking maybe you'll come back , i'm just a broken hearted man . Cause the possibility you would ever felt the same for me , why do i keep on running the truth , all i ever think is about you , you got me hypnotized , can't i belive that we can make this into , something that will last forever . rena 'll come back to me if can , i'll miss you so much , is our 1 year soon in , 2 days time .

Can i forget our past

2008-10-03T00:31:00.000-07:00

Can i really forget the past ? Those time that we 've been together, those sweet memory , it been a month , am i still thinking of you ? After how long we have been together , and we broke up just because of other guy you fall in love with , it since so unfair to me . I know at that time i'll was'nt a good boyfriend , i lie to you just because i want go out with my friend , at that point of time i'm a selfish boyfriend , but when ever i think of it , i realise you did it for my own good .

Please come back to me .

so much thing have happen

2008-10-02T06:20:00.000-07:00

Now my life is in a messy , my uncle is in the hosiptal all because of me , all i just wish is to see him hurry up recover that all i wish , god please bless him look after him please , he is a very nice person please let nothing happen to him please .

And i really miss her so much right now , she just like in crave deep in my heart already .

will update soon when everything is back to normal .

Romance ?

2008-09-10T23:50:00.000-07:00

Romance never look so beatiful , when i with her . I felt lonely without her . She never far away from me , my thought think of her even if i can't be there by her side . Her graceful demeanor and sweet visage always warm me inside .

Just want be with her , show her that she's my universe .

why

2008-09-09T09:47:00.000-07:00

Is my past that matter ?

I don't understand ,why you have to mind so much , it more then a 2 year since i broke up with my ex , and yet you can't stop saying about my ex . what is there to compare about ? I did'nt treat you that bad , i treat you better then her but to you , you never understand it , how much i feel , did you put yourself in my shoes, i did'nt even done anything wrong , and you keep on pushing the blame to me , you can say i'm not a good boyfriend , but have you ask , how you treated me first ? You know it for yourself what you have done behind my back i no need to say it out , because the picture will always be in my mind , what you done in march this year !

Is revenge that important ?

Don't tell me you never done anything wrong before ? everyone done mistake before , but you never admit to your mistake instead you'll find excuse , no matter what you have done before ,
you'll just push the blame to other , but when you done something wrong and i can stop saying about it putting it aside but you can't , you have to keep on saying it and end up we quarrel again , i admit i lie to you before but i never even be unfaithful to you .

After all this time ?

To you 10 month meant nothing at all , because on that very day you when clubbing with your friend and yet you lied to me again , this is'nt the first time you go behind my back and you did'nt even wish happy 10 month . Soon it our 11 month but you want put a end to it , because of my past , you just could'nt forget it , why you have dig out my past and compare , when i just love you only , you can say other excuse but al this time i still love you like i always do .

I've walk so far away , yet realise you ain't here anymore , thousand of reason , lying to myself , yet i realise how much i love you , but to you , i'm a lousy boyfriend

sad

2008-08-22T08:42:00.000-07:00

My girlfriend complain me , that i'm a lousy bf , is this what i really am ?
She don't since to understand what i really want from her , now she avoiding me , i bet she out there with other people slacking , don't care about me , she never spare for my feeling , now i'm deeply sad , i can't stop thinking about her , i just miss her so much right now .

Hope thing will improve between us ,
You're my lovely girlfriend

She have change

2008-08-18T06:37:00.000-07:00

MY girlfriend she have totally change into another person , a lier , on saturday she when clubbing behind my back ,what kind of girlfriend i have , the girl i love before have gone , she like totally a ---- , what have i done wrong to her ,make her treat me like that , i'm a fool , I've being asking myself have i done wrong , not giving her everything she want , i even bake a cake for our 10 month , but there she when clubbing on our 10 month ,this is how she treat me , me on the 7 month althought i when mia , but i never , go clubbing all this do such unfaithful thing , and yet this is how i'm being treat as , life is so unfair . I can't stop think what she does to me on our 5 month , when to other guy house , kiss other guy , and have what i also don't know , i'll just never forget , 210308 , this date what she does to me .

What have i done wrong ?

2008-08-14T08:13:00.000-07:00

I never thought my gf will repeat this , she still contacting other guy behind me , idoit , i'm like a fool a toy to her , this is'nt the first time , she like that . Why did she do this to me , what have i done wrong now , i did'nt even contact other girl , i did'nt even meet my friend anymore , after i start working , i did'nt even think of going out with other people only you that what i kept in my mind , yet you still lie to me again , this is'nt the first time is the 3rd or 4rd time , no wonder when i'm with you there still other guy contacting you . I'm thought with this , you never know you mistake ,

Even since i work finish i help out with my mother , as there some problem with her work then we hardly chat , because when i reach home you already sleep , that why i guess , is helping out my mother wrong too , i don't think so , you never try to understand , what my family facing now , my father now going court because he is being sue , by the tp , because he have a accident knocking down one lamp post . You did'nt know what my family is facing now , i just trying to help them , yet you behind my back go contact with other guy , so far it been 2 day only and yet you have change or is you from the begining till now still cannot change your hibit at all !

I really don't know what to do now

2008-07-31T06:59:00.000-07:00

Sigh , my girlfriend and i each day since to like being dirfting apart further apart day by day , i don't know why , when ever i message her ,she take such a long time to reply meor there is no reply at all , i wonder what wrong between us . I really wish she 'll be back sweet like those day we have , how do we end up like this , i hope be like how we were in the begining .If we could .I'm here waiting for a mircale to happen. She promise me a sweet message to but there it goes again, an empty promise for me .

i'll love you all along ,i keep dreaming you'll be with and never go , but you know i will miss you , i want you to stay , i need you to say it to me , i'm not leaving you anymore , belive it ,i 'll last with you , i 'll give it all, just for you , but i not giving up you . Someday sohow ihope you understand what i meant.

i miss those day

2008-07-30T06:46:00.000-07:00

I miss those sweet day those sweet message , when my girlfriend is sweet to me , i don't know why now why my girlfriend hardly message me , and even if i message her she take a very long to reply ,i 'm sad and worry about this relationship , i'm scared that something will happen , between us . Maybe i'm being thinking too much already , i guess i love my girlfriend too much.

Now my family also have some big prolem , my maid ran away for home . And my mother going to fine by mom , all because i have a idoit maid , thinking run away will slove this problem .

My baby is sick i hope she will get soon , she on mc for two days already, so good . No have to work .

what have come between us ?

2008-07-28T07:45:00.000-07:00

What have come between us , letting me and you , start to drift apart .
What the reason , I did'nt lie to her or do something wrong , but instead i saw her contacting other guy again , why does she keep on contacting kenneth this person?
Am i a failer ,i can't even controll my girlfriend , what she does and so on ,
thing i don't like to do , she will always do it ,

I just hope we'll work this relationship , hope we'll last
lastly dear iloveyou so much

She's the only one

2008-07-24T07:06:00.000-07:00

I know i not really a good boyfreind , that can't give everything to my baby , what she really want , she the only that make me want be a better man , she the angel up above everything , firstly she the best for me , no one else but her , she the only want i belive i'll love , baby what happen to you , why you treat me so cold , i can't stand this pain , it hurt more then anything else , lastly i just want to let you know i love my dearest rena , my girlfriend the one & only angel in my heart

our 9 month

2008-07-15T07:38:00.000-07:00

Saturday we celebrate our 9 month at the zoo in advance.

Just 2 more hour to our 9 month ,

all the way till now ,

althought there sad time ,

but we still go thought all the way till today ,

I'm glad to have such a wonderful girlfriend ,

I love you !

2008-07-09T08:06:00.000-07:00

will update how me and my girlfriend , on friday now going to sleep , have to work morning shift tomorrow ,

New born puppy fpr sale

2008-07-09T07:53:00.000-07:00

New born puppy looking for new owner

selling at 750 and above

shin zhu cross

going 2 month soon

It a mini breed small in size

2008-07-05T22:56:00.000-07:00

Make me wait for her for so long at down stair,

when she take photo of herself at home

Before going VivO

Drumstick queen*

At ViVo

She my lady & loVe

2008-07-05T09:57:00.000-07:00

Puppy for sale left 3 , puppy left going 4 month le hurry .

Come to clementi pet fever's .com to take a look !

2008-07-02T03:10:00.001-07:00

I NEED A JOB !!!

2008-07-01T15:00:00.000-07:00

Another 14 to our 9 month ,

just hope we'll face the problem together.

A million words couldn’t bring you back ,

I know because I’ve tried,

I'm lying alone with my head on the phone ,

Thinking of you till it hurts ,

I know you hurt too but what else can we do,

Tormented and torn apart,

I wish I could carry your smile and my heart ,

For times when my life feels so low ,

I 'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you ,

I want you to come back and carry me home ,

Away from this long lonely nights
Please love me or I'll be gone ,
What are you thinking of?

If I had to live my life without you near me .

The days would all be empty

The nights would seem so long ,

Our dreams are young and we both know

They'll take us where we want to go

Hold me now & I don't want to live without you

If the road ahead is not so easy

Our love will lead a way for us

I'll be there for you if you should need me

You ought to know by now how much I love you

One thing you can be sure of

Why can't stop quarreling

2008-06-22T23:49:00.000-07:00

Why can't we stop quarreling , because of one blog we quarrel agian , this relationship since , to be hard we hardly stop quarreling , why can'tyour we just put the past aside , why when i'm able to past aside you can't ? Can we stop quarreling ,for god sake i want a sweet relationship not always quarrel , can we just put aside our past ? Do you think i don't love you ?

What a day

2008-06-21T08:45:00.002-07:00

We quarrel again today ? Supposed to be happy end up , we quarrel agian ,
when the quarreling going to stop ? Why do we have to keep on quarrel , why can't we just end it . Can we stop doing , those thing we don't like , can we end this quarrel for once, i had enough of querreling , has your feeling really gone , 8 month 255 days , just come to a end , maybe this is it !

We once were sweet couple , sweet memory , all this what happen to it ?

Once again dissapointed

2008-06-20T03:01:00.000-07:00

This turn out to be my heart right now .

She say it was her friend , they won't be talking about sweet thing ,

how disgusting , whenever I recalled those words they say ,

It feel like she put a knife right into my heart ,

so friend is allow to say sweet thing to each other ,

when you have a boyfriend or girlfriend ?

I ask some of my friend opinion ,

and they say how could my girlfriend treat me ,

like that when i'm serious with her ,

they ask me is my girlfriend playing with my feeling ,

seriously i don't know how to answer this question ,

maybe she playing with me after all ,

8 month of relationship maybe short after all ,

maybe she tried of this relationship after all ,

we always quarrel ,

and i not as sweet as other guy ,

perhaps she right , the other guy is better then me ,

so she do this , the problem lies here ,

you can choose , not to filrt with other guy ,

but you did'nt , you can choose not to meet him ,

but you did'nt , instead you went out with him ,

what could happen , for the way , i heard the conversation,

i think they since to be like couple ,

and i already been forgetten.

To : Rena

I ain't a guy that let you play around with

if you want to play go other place but not here ,

If you don't take this relationship serious ,

we could give up , because what i need is a serious gf ,

& not a girlfriend that seek vengeance ,

& do such thing behind my back ,

you ask me for a chance but if i give you ,

would you repeat your mistake agian ?

I ask for your msn & friendster password ,

and you say you forget because it too long ,

this already prove you ain't willing to chance after all ,

after all it just a excuse anyway .

Don't drag me and other girl because now ,

I'm not at fault .

You enjoy freedom ,

you when clubbing behind my back ,

not once , but a number of time ,

all this time , i never bring out and say about this ,

I wonder how many guy you meet behind my back ,

how many guy you give your number to ,

how many guy you when out with ,

all this you do behind my back but ,

you never thought of my feeling before you do all this ,

and when i with you so many guy contact you ,

and there " dear what you doing misses "

all this i saw it with my truth eye

I don't seen a chance in it

2008-06-19T22:00:00.000-07:00

I don't seen a chance , in this relationship , you say change but i don't seem to see there a change in it , the only thing is worst in this relationship , there you tell other guy you're single , is this not filrting with other guy ? Are trying to make me laugh out loud , you want freedom , go clubbing then you can go ,

wow i just found out something , my own gf go out with other guy behind my back , and they were sweet , so is this faithful ? on damn faithful , the guy sitting beside him hugging him and so on , and ask her go his house , and say he scare his lao po , wow so fast go his house le , imagine what she will say back to me , she bring out the past and say , and she say this to me " feeling fade "

No one know all the pain I went through . All the love, I saved deep in my heart for you , they 're just a waste . There was nowhere else to go , But somehow deep inside, still loving you, sad and lonely , My heart couldn't take no more of you . I can't stand what you done , revenge is all you want , then you can forget about it .

We quarrel again

2008-06-18T07:42:00.000-07:00

We been quarreling , non-stop , everything 've been blame on me , this is'nt any fair relationship , we having , all the long she been saying have to be fair but everything seen to be so different for what it seen , when i did something wrong , she can say it for whole month , but when she did something wrong , the blame end up being push on me , my life seen to so miserable , saying the fact , do you allow your very own girlfriend to go club ? Of course you won't right , useless you don't love her , I spotted her go clubbing , behind my back . But when i want to say her , i end up being scold by her , she will drag my past out , i lie to her , when to meet my freind , did'nt tell her about it . Open bbq for my birthday , did'nt let her know , ask other girl to come , but did'nt ask my own gf , this was my fault , but it already past 2 month plus , and she still bring out to say , she open friendster , give other guy her msn , chat with them , i give her my password , and she delete my msn , is this fair ? She celebrate her birthday with her sister , and she never ask me go , but the most important thing she give her number to other guys , agian and the guy sing her a song , she found it sweet , she say i'm not as sweet as other guy , each guy have thier own way to treat their gf ,

2008-06-17T08:00:00.001-07:00

You"ll alway's

be my Baby

this is the reason

i belong to you

2008-06-17T07:28:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my life

memory of love